BEIJING — Chinese men are coming up with more extravagant ways to propose marriage in a society where demographics are stacked against them.
Recent proposals include luxury cars arranged in the shape of a heart, a bouquet of 999 "red roses” made out of Chinese currency and 99 new iPhones also arranged in the shape of a heart. In Chinese the number 9 sounds the same as the word for "forever."
China has about 30 million more young adult men than young adult women because of a one-child policy (which ended this year) in a society that has a traditional preference for boys. As a result, many men worry they won’t find a mate.
A debate over the wisdom of such proposals erupted last week after a man from Yichang tried to win his girlfriend’s heart by descending from the skies in a parachute emblazoned with the words, “Gou Hong Yan Marry Me!”
Sadly for the unnamed suitor, things didn’t go according to plan. He got caught in the trees and had to be rescued by firefighters, reported the People’s Daily.
Since he wasn't hurt, he went through with the proposal. When he finally went down on one knee, Gou rejected him. People were divided over the stunt being romantic or vulgar.
On Weibo, China’s equivalent of Twitter, a user named Bo Jue Zheng Qing Chun wrote, “I don’t like this type of marriage proposal. It’s serious thing that needs to be taken seriously”.
Another going by the name Gezhingkubi said, “This looks more like an ad for a real estate company than a proposal.”
Until recently, most marriages were arranged. “China has no tradition of creative proposals. … It shows how high the stakes in the modern marriage market have become,” a recent commentary in the China Daily said.
Parents often provide their male children with a home or car to make them appear more attractive. Women are often encouraged to "marry up" and not to settle for anyone who can’t provide material benefits.
A woman from the southwestern city of Chengdu rejected her boyfriend’s flash mob proposal last December, when she saw the ring and thought the diamond was too small.
She later told a friend that the man had agreed to "buy me a diamond ring as large as one carat," Soho News reported.
It was reminiscent of a famous line from a 2010 Chinese dating show, when a contestant said, “I would rather cry in the back of a BMW than smile on the back of a bicycle.”
Perhaps mindful of that phrase, a young CEO from the southern city of Guangzhou hired a fleet of luxury vehicles and parked them in heart formations to propose to his girlfriend last September.
The man, a college dropout feared his girlfriend, Tingting, might run off with someone more bookish. So in addition to the cars and diamond ring, he prepared large banners that said: “All brothers get out. This is my woman. Tingting you are my girl for life.”
Tingting agreed to marry the young man, according to Xinhua News.
Sociologists are wary of calling the recent spate of over-the-top proposals a trend, pointing out that the majority of Chinese still get engaged quietly and that, in many cases, parents still play a large role in helping their child settle down.
“This a show put on by rich people. These proposals are not representative," said Zhou Xiaozheng, a sociologist Renmin University. "Wealth is not evenly distributed and most young people are too poor to propose this way.”
Even if such displays are infrequent, state-run news media have weighed in to discourage over-the-top proposals.
“You can’t force love,” warned the China Youth Daily after a man bought 99 iPhones to pop the marriage question.
“Whether you use money or luxury goods, such proposals are simply a way to show off power,” wrote the Beijing Evening News. “They are very stressful and disrespectful to women.”
Some apparently aren't heeding that advice. A Beijing boyfriend recently gained praise from netizens for a post in which he proposed by making a bouquets of roses out of thinly sliced meat.
His girlfriend of five years loves hotpot, a Chinese dish of bits of meat that are dipped into a spicy, bubbling soup.
He took her to one of her favorite eateries, and when the main ingredient came in the form of a bunch of flowers, he popped the question.
She said "‘yes." Photos of them on social media show them beaming from ear to ear.
